Dear Jacob

Dear Jacob, I love you with a love that cannot die.

 

Please know that no matter what.

I’m so sorry for the time I wasted.

 

For the years I ignored you.

 

I'm so sorry for not loving you the way I do now.

 

I BEGGED God to allow me to love you for so long.

 

I write this sobbing, with a throbbing soul.

 

Please forgive me.

 

I don't deserve you.

 

I never did.

 

I never will but you love me anyway.

 

I can't possibly fathom why but you do and you do it so gracefully and properly.

 

You are a god yourself, my son.

 

Please, dear Jacob, allow me to show you what it means to be my son.

 

I adore you.

 

I will protect you and I will be your best friend.

 

I promise.

 

Please don't let my folly become your demons.

 

I never want you to feel pain.

 

I want to be pregnant with you forever.

 

Let me love you.

 

I will not betray you, even if it costs me every last thing I have.

You are worthy, Jacob.

It is your birthright.

 

I will not let you fail.

 

Thank you for choosing me.

 

Thank you for being my son.

 

Because of you, I have eternally won.

 

I owe you all of it with interest.

 

It's yours.

 

I don't want it.

 

Keep it.

 

Cherish it.

 

And please just don't forget me, my precious.

 

You are God to me.

Love, Mama

©️SG Herring 8/4/22.